First and foremost I must begin at the end. The end of the first steps I took in the world of reality. The city is for me. For me to cherish. But now that year is over and the doldrums have set in. A harsher reality. Loneliness. Inadequacy. I have lost myself in tortured decisions. Forced by circumstance into a corner. A corner isolated far from anywhere I recognize. It is easy to grouse but it often falls on deaf ears. It claims itself as a right of passage but I see no others experiencing it. Perhaps it is hidden in their deepest folds but why is it then, that mine are so heavy yet they float right to the surface for all to see and goggle at? I travel back and forth between moments, unstuck in time. Wishing to go back but longing to progress. To be anywhere but this state of uncertainty. One cannot hope to progress if they are living in the past but one can also not progress if their true self is lost somewhere in the past. Forgotten.
Where to go from here.